In Loving Memory

Since I mentioned the death of my best friend's mom, Julie, four years ago I just have to talk about it now. Letting my feelings out always helps and yes, four years ago still seems like yesterday and it still hurts. I lived across the street from Jaclyn for eleven years in Milford, Massachusetts until I moved here in the summer of 2004. Jaclyn was mine and my sister's age so we went to school together and right off the bat became really good friends. Jaclyn's mom was a stay at home mom. I believe she used to teach (like my own mom) but decided to take care of the kids while Jaclyn's dad did his work in construction. My mom worked nights at the local Marriot Hotel so we often stayed with Jaclyn during the day while my mom slept. Julie fed us breakfast, even if Jaclyn wasn't getting up for school that day, and brought Heather and I to school quite often.

When Jaclyn's mom first got sick we were only in the second grade. She was diagnosed with bone cancer after experiencing severe pain in her hips. After a year in treatment, Julie beat cancer. She went into remission, which we all know leaves loopholes for the disease to come back. It wasn't until we were in the eighth grade that Jaclyn's mom got cancer again and this time it was a lot worse. I had spread to numerous locations in her body which led her to many different treatments of chemotherapy and radiation therapy. While her mom was gone at doctor and hospital visits, sometimes overnight, Jaclyn stayed with us. In this way, my mom was a second mom to her, like her mom was to us.

The cancer spread fast and by the end of the school year, Julie lost a significant amount of weight, her hair, and had at home care in her own living room in a hospital bed. She was given a reclining chair for patients like her that couldn't get up on their own. The chair was rather cool. It mechanically lifted the person up, making the chair push forward and upward. Regardless of the neat gadget, seeing my second mom like that killed me. When we found out we were moving because of my dad's job it couldn't have been more of bad timing. Julie was dying and we were leaving.

We kept in touch with Jaclyn daily throughout the summer of 2004 and told her to call when you know what happened. I was at the mall with my friend Sammy that cold day in December when Jaclyn called my cell phone. I knew it wasn't good. Julie had passed early that afternoon after strangely exhibiting signs of getting better. I burst out and tears and rushed home. My days were somber and to make matters worse my mom wouldn't let us fly up north to go to Julie's funeral. *I'm crying right now as I read this, even typing it is hard* At the time I had a livejournal online in which ironically, like we did in class today, wrote a poem explaining my feelings about Julie and the impact she had on my life.

I wrote about our blueberry toaster strudel breakfasts, trips to Cape Cod, and particular memories we had together, Jaclyn, Heather, her mom, and I. My mom sent a copy of my poem to Jaclyn's father who framed it and put it on top of Julie's casket the day of her funeral. Jaclyn told me everyone was shocked such a good poem came from a young girl like me, yet cried tears of happiness seeing how much impact Julie had on others' lives.

In memory of Julianne Duridas, Heather and I got tattoos of the cancer ribbon attached to angel wings. Mine is on my upper back and I look at it each day thinking about Julie. I know she's seen it and was probably there when I got it. My tattoo will stick with me forever. In this sense, Julie's memory and spirit will stick with me for as long as I live. I love Juile for the mother she was and how she impacted the lives of others around her. She was one courageous woman with optimistic views. She put up the biggest fight she had in her, but we all know even angels fall sometimes. Lesson learned: live each day to its best. Never underestimate the willpower and fight you have inside yourself. Surround yourself with friends and family that make you smile. Make a difference in others' lives. Be an outstanding role model, and in terms of cancer, always hope there will be a cure one day.